A Beginner's Guide to Surviving the Goth Scene

Never had I thought that I'd end up writing this post, yet here I am. I will try to keep the sarcasm to a minimum because my endless joking has in fact confused people in the past and I don't want to be the cause of yet another needless virgin sacrifice. Okay that was the last one, I promise.

If you're new to the goth scene, this is all you really need to know: the scene consists of people who like a particular kind of music and who enjoy parties and other events where this kind of music is played. Anything else is of secondary importance. There is no goth law that we all must follow on pain of death, so don't take any of the guidelines below too seriously. If you have read this paragraph really you know everything you need to know. Now, on to the part where I'm funny.

Pictured above: the flyer of an excellent party that you should probably attend if you're getting into the Belgian goth scene
So you have discovered goth, good for you! Now, how to make your way around your local goth scene without being chased away by an angry mob of goths? (Spoiler: you will never be chased away by an angry mob of goths.) Here are some guidelines.

If you still have a burning question about the goth scene, please let me know in the comments. For the older goths: is there anything you wish you'd known when you were only just getting into the goth scene?