personal rant

PERSONAL: Bullying

February 21, 2013Saskia C.

Today I discovered a marvellous video that everyone that was ever bullied should watch. I promise you that it's worth your time. It's beautifully made and if you've been bullied, I'm sure you'll see parts of yourself in it.

  

It also set me thinking. One of the worst parts about bullying is, of course, how much it can affect the bullied, but I've also often wondered about how the bullies never seem to realise the pain they are causing. Even years after events, the victims will still be affected by things bullies said or did but they very often don't realise. People usually know when they've been bullied, but bullies knowing what they are doing are actually much more rare.

I changed schools after my third year of high school because the bullying became too much. Now I'm in university and every now and then I run into one of those bullies on the streets. Still I feel that inner panic that I used to feel every single day in those three years. But that is not the shocking part. The most devastating part is that every single time I try to get away from that place as fast as possible, this person smiles at me as I walk past them. Not a mean grin, but an actual, 'long-time-no-see' smile.
Most of these bullies seem to have no idea of the impact something they find unimportant can have on someone's life. And I know this is not just me, I know this is something that happens all the time. Most children and teenagers don't actually see the harm they're doing by calling the 'different' children names, pointing out how weird they are and why, mocking them. To them it's just a game they play among their friends, they tend to forget that the outcasts also have names, feelings and backstories. And that is tragic.

Children should continue to get taught not to bully, of course, but in the first place they should be taught what bullying actually is. Everyone knows the meaning of the word, but very few seem to actually recognise it.

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6 comments

  1. i fckin cried dammit :'<
    guess what? I'm in college and I still have bullies T____T

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  2. I was bullied when I was young but I was strong and my will made me educate myself and get a decent job. But it has left me with a feeling that I'm never good enough and that I'm ugly. It's like I can't hear when people give me compliments. So many bullied people that live whole their life with low self esteem. Adult bullying is sadly also quite common :/ Seen it at almost all places I've been working on.

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    Replies
    1. yeah...totally. I've got scars from working that are just as bad as the ones from school. Thing about school is that there's a definite end date...not so for work. That's the rest of your life. School is terrible too, because your vulnerable. I don't know what kind of mother I'll be--the sound of children laughing still cuts through me like a knife. But you're pretty vulnerable when you first start working and then realize what a sham it all is....

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  3. I was bullied from starting school until about when I was 15... I always had female friends, it was just the boys who treated me as if I was disgusting and ugly... It was only after I moved away to another country that my self esteem really recovered. Away from it all I found the freedom to dress however I liked and act however I liked because no one knew me and no one expected me to be any particular way. Nowadays, ten years after, I feel confident and comfortable in my own skin... I feel beautiful and attractive and don´t much care what other people think!

    Most people who have noot been bullied have no idea what it is and regard it as unimportant and quite uncommon... It seems as if people who have never been bullied lack the ability to notice bullying in their surroundings. That goes for bullies too and most of them are also completely unaware of how they have mistreated their victims...

    Bullying is indeed tragic and it just repeats and repeats... But the worst thing to me is when bullied turn into bullies who know exactly what they are doing to their victims and do it to feel better, to get a strange form of revenge...

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  4. beautiful video. i think i've got something in my eye...

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  5. I was bullied all through elementary school and most of middle and high school. I've had some serious issues with self esteem and was depressed for most of my teens. Every now and then I can still feel really insecure about myself, for instance when I hear people laughing all of a sudden, when I walk past them. I know they're probably not laughing about me, but sometimes that's hard to believe when you come from a place where being laughed at was a daily occurrence.
    The people that bully really don't realise the damage they can do by calling you names or pretending you don't exist.

    ReplyDelete

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